It is day 24 on this journey as I start this entry (posting a little later). If I am 100% honest, I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy from day 1.
I have been asking God why did You bring me here to not talk to me, to not let me feel You. This week one of our leaders shared an anthem for saying Absolutely Yes to the Great Commission and as I listened to it on the top step of El Cafe I now call home, the sun warmed my skin and God warmed my heart. I was rejuvenated with the call to be here that I felt so strongly before.
There have been multiple moments I have thought maybe I heard Him wrong, maybe I made this decision selfishly and God will not bless my obedience. But today I got real with God and brought all this to His feet. He reminded me that He is with me always. That we are instructed to go share with those who do not get the privilege to hear about the God who is the Author, the Creator, the Beginning and the End.
Why are we not running?!?! How can I not go?! I will carry the heavy pack, I will sleep in the tent, I will eat the dirty food. When everyone tells me no, no, no I say, ABSOLUTELY YES. I will go. I forsake the white picket fence and I will embrace the sleeping pad on the hard tile floor just to give one person a warm smile that comes from the heart of the One who created them! The field I see isn’t empty, it’s plentiful and the harvest is so big and so sweet. So I challenge you to find your field and sow seeds of love and Good News and let’s do this together from right where you are!
Since I have landed in Guatemala I have had to struggle and lean into finding my way. I have had to learn to not compare my journey to the other missionaries and even my own squadmates. God has stripped my expectations and my own plans for how I pictured this journey going. Instead of standing on the street corner and having masses come to know God because of my boldness, I will fix the dirty child’s shoes that were on the wrong feet, I will smile so big and say “buenos dias” to every person I pass (working on follow up words on Duolingo now). I will use my different appearance to draw the eyes to then give kindness.
On Monday I was sharing my heart with my host on the way to a different town and she said the spanish word is campos misioneros, your niche, your mission field. Everyones is different, and every moment isn’t glorious and book worthy. Sometimes a mission field is mundane life and hard everyday things. Here in Chicaman, we are working with a family with four kids so we are learning that sometimes our ministry is to build the lincoln log house with their son or work on homeschooling their 3 year old. It’s a beautiful reminder that at the end of this 11 months I might not feel led to stay in different countries, but I can find my campo in the United States too and do everyday life with a Kingdom mindset!
So if you were waiting for a sign or a swift kick in the tush, you cannot use the excuse that God hasn’t called you, cause He called us ALL. So go find your campo, your field, your people, your place and change lives!! If you have water that never leaves you thirsty, why on Earth would you keep that to yourself. And if you are reading this and don’t know the Well that never runs dry, I’d love to introduce you to the One that keeps me going!
18 Then Jesus came to them [and you reading this blog] and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28: 18-20
